1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,880 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,800 MRS BROWN CACKLES 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,680 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys! 4 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,600 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,760 6 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,400 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,880 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,680 9 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,920 Hello there. 10 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,320 The bulb was gone in this lamp, 11 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,560 so I replaced it. 12 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,760 Now I can see how dirty 13 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,360 me feckin' frames are. 14 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,560 SHE CHUCKLES 15 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,440 Isn't it amazing how one little thing you do 16 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,280 leads to another big thing? 17 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,720 SHE SIGHS 18 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,000 See what I mean?! 19 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,440 Yeah, I know how to fix that. 20 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:49,760 Done. 21 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,480 Grandad, can I get you anything? 22 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:52,520 No. 23 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,200 I'll run you a nice hot bath. 24 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,080 Leave me alone. 25 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,520 He's not himself. 26 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,000 AUDIENCE: Aw. 27 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,240 He hasn't moved out of that chair for two weeks. 28 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,040 It's all right for you - you only have to look at him. 29 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,800 I have to put up with the buckin' smell. 30 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,400 Hello, Mummy. 31 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,560 Buckin' "Mummy"? 32 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,240 Ask me how my day went. 33 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,000 Cathy, I haven't time for games. 34 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,560 The house has a fungal infection, 35 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,480 and I think Grandad is patient zero. 36 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,440 Just ask me, Mummy. 37 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,520 Cathy, what is this Mummy crap? 38 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,200 I answer to many things - 39 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,360 Mammy, Mam, Granny... 40 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,520 Ma! That. 41 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,800 But never Mummy. 42 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,320 Wait till I give you a laugh. 43 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,840 What is this, Dermot? 44 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,800 Friend of mine is looking to start a business. 45 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,320 Wants me to invest. That's his business plan. 46 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,160 Er, Mammy? 47 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,160 You never asked me why my day was amazing. 48 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,440 Er, Cathy, because I already know why. 49 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:49,880 You've met a man. 50 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,040 Whoop-a-dee-doo. 51 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,280 THEY LAUGH 52 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,000 How could you possibly know that? 53 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,760 Because you're miserable most of the time 54 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,960 and when you're not miserable, it's because you've met a man. 55 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,000 Wow. Well, that's lovely, thank you. 56 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,480 It's the truth, Cathy. 57 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,800 Oh, he's going to be the answer to all your problems, 58 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,080 and you plan your life together. 59 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,840 And then he'll pump you and he'll dump you. 60 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,960 And we'll all have to listen to Enya for a month 61 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,000 while you survive on a diet of ice cream and vengeance. 62 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,840 His name is Roger. 63 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,600 LAUGHTER 64 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,400 Roger the buckin' Dodger. 65 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,880 As soon as he gets what he wants, 66 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,360 he's going to head for the hills. 67 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,720 Mm-hm. It's not like that, Mammy. 68 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,960 It never is, Cathy, 69 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,040 till they get you in the back of a Ford Cortina... 70 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,920 ..and they duff you! 71 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,760 And then all of a sudden, before you know it, 72 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,040 you're walking home in the rain 73 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,280 with your knickers in your pocket and... 74 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,520 And no shoes. 75 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,440 I didn't know Daddy drove a Ford Cortina. 76 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,440 Shut up, Dermot. I was talking hypothetically. 77 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,000 Roger and I are going to be work colleagues. 78 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,520 Oh, stop saying colleagues, Cathy. 79 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,200 You've only just met the man 80 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,000 and all of a sudden, you've changed, you're different. 81 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,520 You're even talking different. 82 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,240 Well, Roger wants to get on top of my diction. 83 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,160 LAUGHTER 84 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,840 As long as you don't get on top of his diction. 85 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,640 Do you know what? 86 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,200 Forget it. Forget what? 87 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,240 What were we talking about? Argh! 88 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,000 So, Ma, the proposal - gas, isn't it? 89 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,840 Ah, I like it, Dermot. Well done, Buster. 90 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,320 How'd you know it was his? 91 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,800 The crayons were a giveaway. 92 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,560 Thanks, Mrs Brown. 93 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,240 Dermo thinks it's stupid. 94 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,200 Nobody's going to pay to have their dog walked, Buster. 95 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,480 I would if I still had a dog. 96 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,240 Dermot, people are too busy nowadays 97 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,680 to be giving their dogs proper exercises. 98 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,560 That's what I said, ha-ha! 99 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,080 Well, you already have a job, with me. 100 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,520 I happen to know a thing or two about business, Buster, 101 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,840 and for that reason, I'm out. 102 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,200 AUDIENCE: Aw. 103 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,120 I happen to know a thing or two about business, too, 104 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,320 and for that reason, Buster, I'm going to make you an offer. 105 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,840 25% and I'm in. 106 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,320 Yes! Oh, thank you so much, Mrs Brown. 107 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,600 You're not serious, Ma? 108 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,240 I am serious, Dermot. I think it's genius. 109 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,360 Ha-ha! Hear that, Dermo? I'm a genius! 110 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,080 I didn't say that. I didn't say that. 111 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,800 So this is how Einstein felt. 112 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,560 E equals MC... 113 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,000 ..Hammer. 114 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,360 LAUGHTER 115 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,480 Cathy seems in great form in there. 116 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,200 Yeah, well, we'll see when this Roger fella dumps her. Ha-ha, ha. 117 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,440 Though she insists it's different this time. 118 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,520 But is it? Apparently. 119 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,280 It IS different, Mammy. 120 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:39,000 Roger's looking to exploit a gap in the market. 121 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,400 I've had a few Rogers exploit my gap in the market. 122 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,400 THEY LAUGH 123 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,120 The podcast market. 124 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,360 Oh, sorry. 125 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,280 I thought we were talking about fanny. 126 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,680 THEY CACKLE 127 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,200 Podcast is the newest form 128 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,160 of entertainment stroke communication, 129 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,640 airing stroke broadcasting to an audience 130 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,560 that can be local stroke worldwide. 131 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,640 There's an awful lot of strokes in that, Cathy. 132 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,080 Is it a sex thing? 133 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,760 It's a type of audio programme people listen to for entertainment. 134 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,040 A radio show? 135 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,640 No, podcast is completely different. 136 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,320 Roger's goal is to give lots of different women... 137 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,240 A lash. 138 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,360 No, Mammy. 139 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,320 A platform. 140 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,160 Everybody hears celebrities' opinions on things, 141 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,040 but what about real women? 142 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,160 Nobody hears what they have to say. 143 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,320 Real women? 144 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,360 So where do you come in? 145 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,400 I am the host. 146 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,720 Roger said I'm really interesting. 147 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,640 And are you sure you heard him right? 148 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,960 Yes, Birdie. 149 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,080 Well, maybe he said something similar. 150 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,320 Yeah, like uninteresting. 151 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,760 I AM interesting. 152 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,000 And so's Maria and Sharon. 153 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,080 I've asked them to join my panel, too. 154 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,120 We're recording a trial episode this evening. 155 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,160 Well, I don't know who's going to listen to that, Cathy. 156 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,880 I mean, I'm your loving mother, and you bore me to sleep. 157 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,000 This show will help women, Mammy. 158 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,720 SHE SNORES 159 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,520 Well, thanks for the pep talk. 160 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,200 Cathy, if you want any help... 161 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:19,200 What I want and need is for you three 162 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,000 to stay as far away from this podcast as possible. 163 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,240 Thank you. 164 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,840 I think we all know where this is going. 165 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,680 LAUGHTER 166 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,640 How we get there, that's the fun. 167 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,640 DOORBELL RINGS 168 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,040 Oh, that'll be Dr Flynn. 169 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,680 Birdie, get him in there, will you? 170 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,120 SHOUTS: Come in, Dr Flynn! 171 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,520 What seems to be the problem, Mrs Brown? 172 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,560 Him. 173 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,760 What's wrong with him? 174 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,880 I don't know - maybe we should call a doctor. 175 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,640 Is he showing any symptoms? 176 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,360 Well, he's very quiet and he's no get-up-and-go. 177 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,960 And he's developed an allergy. 178 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,400 Really? To what? 179 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,520 Soap. 180 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,920 It's sad, Mrs Brown. 181 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,400 Of course it's sad. 182 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,000 We all think it's sad. 183 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,200 Did you even go to medical school? 184 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,880 S-A-D. 185 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,240 Seasonal Affective Disorder. 186 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,400 I've seen a lot of it lately. 187 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,200 We need to act fast. 188 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:21,440 Well, now, Doctor, I don't want him pumped full of mind-numbing drugs. 189 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,600 Or do I? 190 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,000 If only it were that simple, Mrs Brown. 191 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,680 I think the best course of action is a change of lifestyle. 192 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,840 Oh... He needs vitamin D. 193 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,160 Take him out into the sun. Sun? 194 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,360 He needs exercise. Walk with him. 195 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,600 Walk? 196 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,200 Cook him a healthy, nutritious, well-balanced diet. 197 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,640 Diet? 198 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,200 And even give him the odd massage. 199 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,280 LAUGHTER 200 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,560 Massage? 201 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,680 It's really all up to you, Mrs Brown. 202 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,520 Yeah. 203 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,840 What did he say? 204 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,520 Doctor says you're fucked. 205 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,520 But deep down, in the fulcrum of my being, 206 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,200 I feel I have more to offer. 207 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,800 I don't have a fulcrum. 208 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,040 Yes, Maria. 209 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,120 Oh, my God, yes. 210 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,920 I can be more than just Maria Brown. 211 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,960 And in recognising that, I somehow kind of... 212 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,480 It kind of galvanised me. Does that make sense? 213 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,840 What's galvanised? 214 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:29,080 Maria, what you said there is just so brutally honest 215 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,280 and, I think, strikes a chord with so many women. 216 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,760 Thank you for sharing. 217 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,200 Oh, here's our producer. 218 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:40,880 Hello, Roger. 219 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,440 ROGER: Yeah, that sounds fine. 220 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,080 Yeah, let's take five, get our ducks in a row, 221 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,160 shake off the old cobwebs, yeah? 222 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,200 Sorry? Take a break. 223 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,120 Oh! Thanks, Roger. 224 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,080 Was that OK, Cathy? I hope I didn't ramble on. 225 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,680 Are you kidding me? That was amazing, Maria. 226 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,440 I'm going to galvanise me fulcrum. 227 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,720 THEY CHUCKLE 228 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,560 Girls, can you believe it? 229 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,200 We're going to be podcasters. 230 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,520 Yes! I know! THEY GIGGLE 231 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,680 DOOR OPENS 232 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,040 DOOR CLOSES 233 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,920 What a load of shite. Yeah. 234 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,960 MIMICS CATHY: You were amazing, Agnes. 235 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,800 No, no, you were amazing, Winnie! 236 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,040 Oh, and Birdie, you were SUPER amazing! 237 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,040 I know! Here, here... THEY LAUGH 238 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,680 ALL: We're going to be podcasters! 239 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,000 THEY LAUGH 240 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,120 Gobshites. 241 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,720 Who in their right mind is going to listen to that? 242 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,040 BIRDIE LAUGHS 243 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,040 And the bit about underwear - 244 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,720 I was wanting to cut me ears off. MRS BROWN CHUCKLES 245 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,320 "Why can't I get meself a comfortable bra," she asks? 246 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,520 Because you're too lazy to go into the buckin' shop 247 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,560 and try one on, that's why. Yeah. 248 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,120 Instead, they order them online 249 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,720 and then they whinge and moan when they don't fit. 250 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,600 What happened to real problems? Mm. 251 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,720 When I was their age, my biggest problem 252 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,280 was having too many children 253 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,160 and not enough tits to feed them. 254 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,480 LAUGHTER Yeah. 255 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,920 Same here, Birdie. 256 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,600 I was like a walking dairy. 257 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,400 THEY LAUGH 258 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,640 I couldn't blink but one of them wanted to be fed! 259 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,920 I remember once, I went down to the village 260 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,520 and I went into the butcher's - 261 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,560 well, the people were staring at me. 262 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,000 I didn't realise Dermot was still stuck to me. 263 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,400 THEY LAUGH 264 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,080 Hanging on for dear life! 265 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,480 THEY LAUGH 266 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,120 I remember that, Agnes. 267 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,560 How old was he then? 268 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,160 12. 269 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,200 THEY CHUCKLE 270 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,160 What's that, Agnes? 271 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,440 I don't know. 272 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,800 Will I press it? No, don't! 273 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,080 Cathy'll kill you. 274 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,680 Go on, Birdie, press it. 275 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,160 She is not pressing that button. 276 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,440 I am. 277 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,680 Oh! 278 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:53,960 Hello! welcome to Finglas FM Live with The Three Biddies. 279 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,600 THEY CACKLE 280 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,640 And what's your name, caller? 281 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,120 Er, Roger. 282 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,760 Hello? 283 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,720 Hey, Marco? 284 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,360 Would you pay me to walk your dog? 285 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,680 No. 286 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,560 Why not? I don't have a dog. 287 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,080 LAUGHTER 288 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,200 Do you want to buy a dog? 289 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,000 No. 290 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,600 OK, let's say you did have a dog. 291 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,960 You'd pay me to walk it for you, wouldn't you? 292 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,720 Buster, I'd pay you just to leave me alone. 293 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,280 LAUGHTER 294 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,960 AUDIENCE: Aw. 295 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,000 How much? 296 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,320 OK, let's go over it again. 297 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,760 Agnes, we've done this 100 times. 298 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,240 Winnie, we have to get our stories straight. 299 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:50,240 If I've deprived Cathy of her podcast opportunity, I'm dead. 300 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,640 And let me be very clear here. 301 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,080 If I go down, I'm taking you two with me. 302 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,360 Hiya, Ma. 303 00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,560 Mark, have you seen Cathy? 304 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:00,760 No. 305 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,880 Why? What did you do now? 306 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,480 Nothing, I didn't do anything. 307 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,240 Neither did I. 308 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,480 Here, what's wrong with Grandad? 309 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,920 Dermot said he's not well. 310 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,120 Dr Flynn said he needs to get out of the house, 311 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,200 but the bastard won't budge. 312 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,280 Seasonal Affective Disorder, Mrs Brown. 313 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,640 A lot of my congregation are suffering from it. 314 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,120 That's why they can't come to mass. 315 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,960 You keep telling yourself that, Father. 316 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,760 I don't know what to do with Grandad. 317 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,800 I could mention him in my prayers, if you like. 318 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,640 Oh, thank you, Father. 319 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,960 Problem solved. 320 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,880 Did you hear about Cathy's podcast, Mark? 321 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,040 No, what happened? 322 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,840 Well, you know Cathy was worried Mammy would ruin it? 323 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,200 Like she normally does, yeah. 324 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,200 Well, as it turns out... 325 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,360 LAUGHTER, CHATTER 326 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,160 Actually, here she is now, I'll let her tell you. 327 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,680 Quick, girls, look normal. 328 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,640 Oh, champagne all round, please, Sharon. 329 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,200 I hope you'll all join us in a little celebration. 330 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,760 Recording went well, then, yeah? 331 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,840 Very well. 332 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,040 Roger called it ground-breaking. 333 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,560 That's fantastic! 334 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,080 I'm delighted for you, Cathy. 335 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,800 And relieved. 336 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,800 SHE MOUTHS 337 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,120 I feel guilty, Mammy. 338 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,560 I was convinced you'd find a way to ruin it. 339 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,080 Oh, so was I. 340 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,400 Me too. 341 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,080 Oh, thanks a bunch, girls. 342 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,400 To say I'm hurt is an understatement. 343 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,000 Where are they? 344 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,440 Where are my newest podcasting superstars? 345 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,400 Over here, Roger. Hey, Cathy. 346 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:33,960 A toast to the latest podcasting sensations, huh? 347 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,520 Agnes, you and those two other women are going to be internet stars. 348 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,200 LAUGHTER 349 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,480 AUDIENCE: Ooh. 350 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,640 She still looking? 351 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,440 They both are. 352 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,440 Just couldn't help yourself, could you? 353 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,920 It was a complete accident, Cathy. 354 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,480 We didn't know he was listening, did we, girls? 355 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,600 I had me suspicions when he said, "Hello, it's Roger." 356 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,040 LAUGHTER 357 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,400 Every time something good happens in my life, 358 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,760 you stick your oar in and ruin it. 359 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,480 You three better not embarrass me. 360 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,600 We won't. 361 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,240 Now, where was I? 362 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,240 Son, you were at the bar 363 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,960 and then before that, you were standing there. 364 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,040 What? 365 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,320 BOTH: You get used to it. 366 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,560 Now a podcast with all six of you giving your opinion 367 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,720 and discussions will bridge the generational divide. 368 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,760 You see, this has never been seen before. 369 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,240 On one side, we have the modern woman, 370 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,480 full of vigour and exuberance... 371 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,920 Don't worry, Cathy, he'll get to you in a second. 372 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,560 And then on the other side, we have wisdom, perseverance... 373 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,080 And Mammy. 374 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,840 I'm telling you, Roger, she will break you. 375 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,560 Well, she seems fairly tame to me, 376 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,120 like a little pussycat. 377 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,800 Meow. 378 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:11,080 Now, what is the topic going to be for our first episode, huh? 379 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,600 Toilet rolls. Toilet rolls. 380 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,240 Why are they so expensive all of a sudden? 381 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,440 Yeah, I'm not really sure... Mammy! 382 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,720 This podcast will discuss major issues 383 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,360 that women struggle with on a daily basis. 384 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,840 We should include kitchen towels, though. 385 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,480 It's not consumer affairs! 386 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,360 Well, look, let's look at this from a different angle. 387 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,240 What are the topics that you discuss mostly 388 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,400 on a daily basis? 389 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,920 Social injustice. Politics. Mortality. 390 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,160 Penis. 391 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,160 You took that right out of me mouth. 392 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,680 BOTH CACKLE 393 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,440 I love it, Mrs Brown! 394 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,880 I don't know if we'll get an hour out of it. 395 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,120 Lucky to get two minutes out of most men! 396 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,320 Zinger! And everybody's applauding! 397 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,160 Roger! 398 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,800 We don't want our show to be about stereotypical rubbish. 399 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,480 No, Cathy's right. 400 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,840 Women need a forum for discussion and guidance. 401 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,000 Show me one woman that wants to hear another podcast about sex. 402 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,360 Come on, Grandad. Oh... 403 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,640 We'll just be going as far as the garden! 404 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,960 No! 405 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,560 Grandad, don't be so stubborn. 406 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:30,120 Mark is just trying to help. 407 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,720 I'm staying here! 408 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,080 Hey, Ma! 409 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,400 Hello, son. DOOR CLOSES 410 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,840 Hello, Buster. 411 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,880 So, how's the dog-walking going? 412 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,840 Ruff! 413 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,040 Very ruff, Ma. 414 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,720 Give us a hand in here, Dermot. 415 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,360 I'm giving it up, Mrs Brown. Oh... 416 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,520 I didn't get a customer all week. 417 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,440 Wasted all our money on this crap. 418 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,520 Buster, you have a good thing going here. 419 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,480 Rome wasn't built in a day. 420 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,720 How long did it take? 421 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,600 1,000 years. 422 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,080 No way. I'd be too old. 423 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,400 I tried to warn you, Buster! THEY GRUNT 424 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,760 But would you listen? 425 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,000 No. 426 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,160 Dermot, he needs a mentor, not a tormentor. 427 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,840 Business is about hard work, Ma. 428 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,120 I didn't get to where I am today by walking dogs. 429 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,640 Do you hear Elon Musk in there? 430 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,920 It's pointless, Ma. 431 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,240 There's no moving him. 432 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,400 Pointless? It could be worse, it could be The Chase. 433 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,680 LAUGHTER 434 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,880 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 435 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,480 APPLAUSE 436 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,880 CREW: And action. 437 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,800 It's pointless, Ma. 438 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,200 There's no moving him. 439 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,880 Feck it, I was hoping to get rid of him 440 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,200 before the podcast starts. 441 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,600 Hi, Cathy. DOOR CLOSES 442 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,720 Hey, Mark. Hello, love. 443 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,600 She hasn't said a word to me all day. 444 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,440 That's nothing, Ma. Maria hates you. 445 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,720 She actually said it. 446 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,720 I didn't mean to hijack the feckin' podcast! 447 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,440 It was an honest mistake. 448 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,800 I know that, Ma. 449 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,840 But try not to cause any more drama, will you? 450 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,480 Me? Drama? 451 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,800 Oh, my God! 452 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,560 What now? Grandad's out of his chair. 453 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,240 Buster, how did you do that? 454 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,000 I just asked him did he want to go to the park. 455 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,800 Throw the ball, throw the ball! 456 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,360 Buster, never mind the dog-walking! 457 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,920 I think you've found your calling. 458 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,920 Really? What do you mean, Ma? 459 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,680 Dr Flynn said that there's old people all over Finglas 460 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,000 who have Grandad's condition. 461 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,120 Buster, throw the buckin' ball. 462 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,200 GRANDAD GRUNTS 463 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,000 Buster, this is an untapped market. 464 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,960 You need to get the word out. 465 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,320 Like an advertising campaign in the newspaper. 466 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,960 Dermo, shush. Business talk. 467 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,640 No, no. No, bigger than that. 468 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,520 And I think I have just the thing. 469 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,440 Buster, get out there to him quick. 470 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,120 He's pissing on me daffodils! 471 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,600 Ladies. 472 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,920 Er, can we get the talent in here, please? 473 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,560 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 474 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,040 Did you hear that, Cathy? He called us the talent. 475 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,200 Oh, sit. 476 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,080 How do you want to do this, Rog? Will I take the lead? 477 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,360 Absolutely not! I am the host. 478 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,800 I want you to think of this like a football team, Mrs Brown. 479 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,920 Cathy here is our midfield maestro pulling all the strings, yeah? 480 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,680 Are you sure? Because she folds under pressure. 481 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,520 Will you shut up? 482 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,720 Cathy will distribute the ball to all of you 483 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,760 and all you have to do is score the goals. 484 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,600 So she does the donkey work in the midfield 485 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,320 and I'm the out-and-out striker? 486 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,680 Exactly. I like it. 487 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,200 Are we doing a diamond formation or 4-4-2? 488 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,440 It doesn't matter, Mammy! Jesus Christ. 489 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,000 It does if you're a striker. 490 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,080 The best of luck, everybody! 491 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,440 In five, four, three... 492 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,880 The ball is in, and the game is on. 493 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,360 Hello and welcome to Debatable, 494 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,280 the new podcast made by women for women. 495 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,520 496 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,080 Seriously? We can lose it in the edit! 497 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,080 Continue! Well, let's just dive in. 498 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,200 What's the biggest struggle facing women in today's world? 499 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,320 Potatoes. 500 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,760 What? 501 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,160 I don't know if you've noticed it, but I've noticed this - 502 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,840 potatoes are getting smaller. 503 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,000 Finally, somebody has the courage to stand up 504 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,480 and say what we've been thinking for years. 505 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,000 Yeah, you get two or three big ones in the bag 506 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,440 and then you get loads of little ones, 507 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,360 and it takes forever to peel them. 508 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,400 I just felt it needed to be said. 509 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,000 I think our listeners would like to hear something 510 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,520 a little more highbrow. 511 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,880 Yeah, eyebrows are getting silly now. 512 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,960 LAUGHTER 513 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,400 Maria has nice ones. 514 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,000 Yeah. Yes, you do, Maria. 515 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,560 Are they pencilled in or are they au natural? 516 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,960 I'm lost. 517 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,400 Can we get back to potatoes? 518 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,120 No! 519 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:01,800 Yes, Maria. 520 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,640 Well, menopause is a difficult discussion topic, 521 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,800 and I would love to know what advice the older ladies 522 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,160 might have to offer. 523 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,840 Yes, so would I, Maria. 524 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,240 So, how did you ladies deal with the dreaded change? 525 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,520 I just got on with it. 526 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,240 That's it? That's your advice? 527 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,440 Yeah. 528 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,000 Yeah, you'll be grand. 529 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,160 The wine helps. 530 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,920 LAUGHTER 531 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,400 What are you doing here, Buster? 532 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,600 Oh! SHE CLEARS THROAT 533 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,080 And now a word from our sponsor. 534 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,480 We don't have a sponsor, Mammy. 535 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,200 That's what you said about the jingle. 536 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,400 Roger! You need to do something here! 537 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,640 We can lose it in the edit, Cathy. 538 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,000 Just continue. 539 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,320 Hello. 540 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,680 Do you have a hairy friend that needs walking? 541 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,320 A dog or an old person, perhaps? 542 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,960 Question mark. 543 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,680 Well, have no fear - 544 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,640 Buster Brady Canine and Geriatric Mobility Service is here. 545 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,680 Buster Brady Enterprise accepts no liability or responsibility 546 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,160 for anybody lost or dead or... 547 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,800 Please contact your doctor before enrolling. 548 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,080 And now back to the show. 549 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,480 550 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:14,920 Talk to Mammy. 551 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,440 I would love some advice on something. 552 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,080 I have a friend, and her mother is ruining her life. 553 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,600 Oh, that's a tough one, Cathy. 554 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,880 How old is your friend? 555 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,080 Oh, same age as me. 556 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,560 Is she an only child? 557 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,640 No, she has brothers. 558 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,360 My friend tries to rise above it, 559 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,800 but very recently, she came to the conclusion 560 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,400 that her mother is a selfish, 561 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,040 manipulative tyrant! 562 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,800 Oh, the poor girl. 563 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,520 You know, it can happen. 564 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,200 Mothers can be cruel without realising it. 565 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,560 Agnes... 566 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,760 Shut up, Winnie, I'm talking. 567 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:10,120 She probably wants to scream and shout in frustration, 568 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,040 but I say no. 569 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,440 Nyet. 570 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,240 No, no, no, Mamma Mia. 571 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,080 No. 572 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,440 Give her a hug. 573 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,680 Her mother'll get the message. 574 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,840 OK, I think that's the perfect time to take a break. 575 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,320 Yeah, I think so. 576 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,040 I'm gasping for a cup of tea. 577 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,800 I wouldn't mind a leek, either. 578 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,000 SHE LAUGHS 579 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,560 I thought that went well. 580 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,440 AUDIENCE: Aw. 581 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280 Thank you for that, Mammy. 582 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,640 No problem, Cathy. 583 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,560 Oh, shite. 584 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,200 You all right, Agnes? 585 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,840 Roger?! 586 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,240 That soppy bit at the end, 587 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,120 we can lose that in the edit, can't we? 588 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,760 Here, do you know the Finglas Dogs' Home? 589 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,880 I didn't even know he was away. 590 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:12,800 What about it? 591 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,840 I saw Buster Brady coming out of there 592 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,200 with about six dogs pulling on his belt. 593 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,920 He went past me like a stagecoach. 594 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,440 THEY CACKLE 595 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,880 So where was he? 596 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,600 Buster? No, the Finglas dog! 597 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,880 You should've seen the church this morning, Mrs Brown. 598 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,280 Standing room only. 599 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,200 Oh, I'm delighted for you, Father. 600 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,440 Thanks be to God. 601 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,120 No, Mrs Brown, thanks be to Buster Brady. 602 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,880 He arrived there with lots of elderly folk on leashes! 603 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,960 OK, everybody, just make yourselves comfortable. 604 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,840 Good boy. Go get 'em. He-he, he! 605 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,560 Mrs Brown, I have a surprise for you. 606 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,760 Buster, I don't want a return on the investment, 607 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,280 I'm just happy to see you succeed. 608 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,720 Oh, what the hell is that?! 609 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,240 Grandad left that in the park. 610 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,680 Here, Buster, give that to Dermot. 611 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,760 He's been giving you a lot of shit over the last couple of days. 612 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,200 Right, I'll see yous tomorrow. 613 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,080 OK. For podcast number two. 614 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,480 Yeah. 615 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,280 I'm glad he's back, Agnes. 616 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,600 Who? Grandad? 617 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,440 No, the Finglas dog! 618 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:24,600 SOFTLY: For fuck's sake. 619 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,880 Well, that's it for today's podcast. 620 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,920 Get in touch. We love to get your questions. 621 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,120 Er, but Cathy, just before you go... SHE CLEARS THROAT 622 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,720 ..there's something I want to say. SHE CLEARS THROAT 623 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,520 Lately I've been thinking about, you know, 624 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,320 how things sometimes lead to something else. 625 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,200 Like everything you say or do 626 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,320 influences something or somebody else. 627 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,400 I'll give you an example. 628 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,560 I was in our local garage, 629 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,200 and I saw a man filling his Escort with diesel. 630 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,240 I bet she died did she? 631 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,520 Shut up, Winnie! 632 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,760 He put the fuel in the car and the car went. 633 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,040 And I saw Buster Brady, who's a dog-walker, 634 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,920 taking the time to figure out what was wrong with Grandad. 635 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,040 And, look, me, Winnie or Birdie, 636 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,040 we never intended to do a podcast, 637 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,480 and yet here we are. 638 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,680 Thanks to my daughter, Cathy. 639 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,000 AUDIENCE: Aw. 640 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,040 A mother and daughter relationship can be tough sometimes. 641 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,000 I know over the years, Cathy felt I treated her 642 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,360 like a child... Well, Mammy... 643 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:42,760 Let... 644 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,840 And maybe she's right. 645 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,440 Because, you see, I never wanted Cathy to grow up. 646 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,400 Every time Cathy's upset, 647 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,400 all I see is a little girl holding her arms out saying, 648 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,160 "Mammy, pick me up." 649 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,600 She's too heavy for that. 650 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,520 The point is, 651 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,920 I think mothers expect more of their daughters 652 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,680 than they do of their sons, 653 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,160 and I'm sorry for that, Cathy, 654 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,520 and for a few other things, too. 655 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,160 But I won't change. 656 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:23,200 To me, you'll always be that little blonde child. 657 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,920 That's not her real colour. 658 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,440 I swear, Winnie, I will buckin' kill you. 659 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:38,040 Standing there, with your arms open wide, saying, 660 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,320 "Pick me up, Mammy." 661 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,720 And I will, every chance I get. 662 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,560 AUDIENCE: Aw. 663 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,400 Right, let's all go home. 664 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,760 Mammy, you didn't press record. 665 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,920 No, I didn't. 666 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,880 Because that last bit was just for you. 667 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:10,640 AUDIENCE: Aw. 668 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:14,520 Goodnight, Mammy. 669 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,720 Goodnight, love. 670 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,920 Well, you didn't think I was going to apologise to her 671 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,560 in buckin' public, did you? 672 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,280 Goodnight! APPLAUSE 673 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:32,680 of Dublin town 674 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:37,920 she wears the crown 675 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,160 676 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,280 677 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:51,200 let life get her down... 678 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,320 Goodnight! 679 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,800 680 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,480 681 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:57,840 682 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,440 683 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,440 SHE CACKLES